It's My Life

But what girl doesn’t dream of being showered with gifts, surprised, spoiled, etc. I may sound shallow but I can’t help it, I’m not satisfied with the man I love. I can’t honestly say I’m happy, I have my mood swings, he’s done me so wrong, he’s super focused on the car, and I cant go a day without finding something wrong. I love him to death and gifts aren’t everything but I’m just bored.. I never was the romantic type but I think now that I’m pretty much in love, I expect more. Especially when we’ve been in each other’s life for just about 3 years now. I’ve always been there for you & got you everything you wanted, not to mention the thousands we’ve wasted on the shitty car you purchased, good thing I found the RSX. Im going to be disappointed Christmas day when I unwrap my present and it’s not something I envisioned. My father gets me whatever I want plus he makes just as much as you but has so much more shit to pay for. I’m sorry I’m not goin to put on a fake expression that I love what you’ve bought me cause even on my birthday I didnt get a simple bouquet of roses or balloons. Let’s face it, you’ve put more money into the car than me..

I failed. This morning I happened to go through his phone & once again he’s cheating on me, at least via text. He doesn’t know that I know but I swear I can’t stand these hoes. I don’t wanna say anything, because we’re living together, but besides that he could find time to cheat on me while I’m at work. I’m not as hurt as I was the first time but why is he still doing this to me? I can’t even.. ugh I dont even kno whether to continue or not..

Why am I with someone who’s constantly finding flaws about me? How I really want you to leave but I love you too much fo that. I wish you understood how insane you make me, im not mentally stable. I cant go a fucking day without screwing up. Yes I feel the need to lie, im afraid of the outcome. Either way im in the wrong. It’s whatever I’m ready for the day something goes down. I’ve come to learn I’m not always doing something wrong. Idgafffffffff

Yes im not goin to lie umemployment has been a struggle with everyone but at least Obama helps those unemployed. I really dont know how anyone in my family could’ve handled raised taxes and not guaranteed jobs. More jobs may be lost but I went for my education rights when it comes to voting. Getting my education right will result in a well - paying job to help out myself and family. My parents fought a long way to even get to America and Obama for damn sure understands that. It’s a relief knowing I wont be completely on my own for college! :)

I can’t help but to be constantly mad & yelling at my boyfriend. It really ticks me off when people dont know how to follow directions though. I love him but he should know me long enough how I am and think of ways to make things easier for me. If he does simple favors for me I’d be extremely happy. Im always strugglin to keep me and others happy. If he decides to leave or cheat I truly don’t give a fuck. & I hate how my mom interferes with everything I do now.

Im a bit picky & it’ll be hard to balance into babe & i’s schedule. Ugh I’m stressed with not having any money. I miss having nothing to worry about as far as payments.

I won’t have the relationship that we’ve had in the past. We shared so much affection & went out on dates. It’s different now, I am happy but sometimes I just want someone who is adventurous. I know we dont have all the money in the world but I’d like to be surprise once in a while please.. It’s tough when you love someone so damn much but you have to be appreciative of what you’re given. Even if you want more :(

Is not even really mine anymore :(. I don’t really have a say in what I want to do with the car. My boyfriend has done everything, it’s nice so far but none are my idea. Even when I go out I have to use the Camry so he doesn’t get bored at home. I miss driving my baby, the only time I do drive it is when I have a day off work but it involves me being late to school. Im always getting dropped off at work now! Sigh, won’t be.gettin another car til next year. Idk why it’s taking us sooo long to pay 2k off..

& another bad thing is he’s tryin to make the rsx look like every other one. With the dumb spoiler, lowering it, etc. Ugh..

I hate having broke friends. It’s super aggravating I just have no one to chill with anymore :(. All I pretty much have is my boyfriend. Even though I still have shit to pay for I manage to still have time for friends. How tf y’all gon try to go to the club with me when y’all turn 18 when there’s supposingly so much shit for you guys to pay for? Ugh fuck friends, I swear I just have you guys to text with.